Redrafting the Jazz: 2014

I have been cursed by a witch to repeatedly travel back through time to relive every NBA draft. Fortunately, her spell sends me directly to the Utah Jazz war room on draft night and all the executives magically know I’m from the future and will do whatever I say. Unfortunately, the curse prevents me from seeing how my advice altered the future, as I am sent back to the previous year as soon as draft night ends.

June 26, 2014 – Barclays Center, New York

Previous season:

In his final year as head coach of the Jazz, Tyrone Corbin guided Utah to one of its worst seasons in franchise history. Unfortunately, a 25-57 record in 2013-14 only earned Utah the fifth pick in the draft. Two weeks before this crucial draft, the rebuilding Jazz allowed Corbin’s contract to expire and hired Quin Snyder as the new coach. He inherited a young, yet intriguing roster of Gordon Hayward, Alec Burks, Derrick Favors, Enes Kanter and rookies Trey Burke and Rudy Gobert.

The draft:

General Manager Dennis Lindsey became enamored with a lanky, versatile guard from Australia named Dante Exum, who was selected fifth overall.

The Jazz also owned the 23rd pick, thanks to the 2013 trade that sent Andre Iguodala to Golden State. Utah used that pick on Rodney Hood, a shooting guard from Duke.

In the second round, Lindsey traded the 35th pick to Memphis for a 2016 second-round pick. The Grizzlies took a power forward from Tennessee named Jarnell Stokes.

Analysis:

Dante Exum was one of the worst picks in Jazz history. He played all 82 games his rookie year, but then tore his ACL in the offseason and had to sit out the entire next season. Further injuries to his shoulder, ankle and knee kept him perpetually sidelined. That, and his play. Snyder really hated Exum and would often yank him off the court immediately after a turnover or missed assignment. He was eventually traded to Cleveland for Jordan Clarkson, who won Sixth Man of the Year for the Jazz. So something positive eventually transpired from the Exum pick, but I know we can get something much better at this position.

The problem with having such a high draft pick is there are so many great options. Do I go with Defensive Player of the Year Marcus Smart? Or All-Stars Julius Randle or Zach LaVine? Or … what’s this? Two-time MVP Nikola Jokic?! Wow. Obviously I have to take him, right? Well … here’s the thing. Jokic wasn’t drafted until the 41st pick. So I think I’ll be safe to wait until the 35th pick to grab him. Meaning I can have some fun at No. 5 and No. 23.

Lindsey grabbing Exum at No. 5 indicates to me that the Jazz already had little faith in rookie Trey Burke being the point guard of the future. So I’m going to recommend Smart at this spot. Snyder was very focused on defense when he came to Utah, and I imagine he would have loved to have a lockdown defender in the backcourt making life easier for Favors and Gobert down low.

Rodney Hood wasn’t a terrible pick for the Jazz. He had three and half marginally decent years for the Jazz. But he always seemed to be hurt or sick and just wasn’t as consistent as Utah needed him to be. He was eventually traded for Jae Crowder and has been bouncing around the league ever since.

My gut reaction is to replace Hood with Bogdan Bogdanovic, who seems to be everything the Jazz envisioned with Hood. But he stayed overseas for a couple of years after being drafted, and I’m not sure if Utah would have been patient enough for that (or if they could have convinced him to come over earlier). Joe Harris is a good shooter, but probably not the dynamic scorer the Jazz were hoping for. Spencer Dinwiddie could have been a solid pick, as well as Clint Capela, Kyle Anderson and Jerami Grant if I’m willing to think outside the box. But I really do want to give Utah some offense in the backcourt, and my favorite option in this draft is Jordan Clarkson. He is a bit of a streaky shooter, but he was Sixth Man of Year on the team with the best record in the regular season, and he’s currently (2022-23) playing the best basketball of his career. So I will take Clarkson, but not at No. 23. This pick goes to Jokic.

Jazz fans — and the front office — undoubtedly would have been scratching their heads after I added Jokic to a front court that already included Favors, Kanter and Gobert. But I would have explained to them that Kanter is pretty much worthless and needs to be dumped as quick as possible, and Favors would be a dependable backup. And I would undoubtedly have to convince myself that a Jokic and Gobert could coexist in the same lineup and still develop into the MVP and Defensive Player of the Year that I know they’re capable of. There’s a strong possibility I could be destroying two Hall of Fame careers by overcrowding them too soon. But I still want to risk it.

Jarnell Stokes only played in 28 NBA games over three seasons. And that 2016 second-round pick turned into Joel Bolomboy. I say ignore the trade and draft Clarkson, knowing that he has the capability to thrive under Snyder.

My advice:

1. Use the 5th pick on Marcus Smart.

2. Use the 23rd pick on Nikola Jokic.

3. Keep the 35th pick and use it on Jordan Clarkson.

Well, I just added a Defensive Player of the Year, a two-time MVP and a Sixth Man of the Year to the Utah Jazz. That’s definitely my best draft night so far. Did I create the foundation for a multiple championship dynasty? Or did I make a messy logjam that Quin Snyder was unable to sort out? I’ll never know. The witch’s curse has abruptly sent me back to the 2013 draft, and I get to do it all over again.

Watchmen #4: A heaven populated with horrors

My main thesis while reviewing this series is that Rorschach is not a hero. But he’s not really in this issue, so I won’t have anything to say on that front. However, I still want to keep going through this page-by-page because it is so fun and interesting.

This issue focuses completely on Dr. Manhattan and his unique perception of time. Honestly, it’s quite exhausting and probably didn’t need to last a whole issue. But … Moore had to stretch his six-issue story out to 12 somehow …

Dr. Manhattan is moping. His girlfriend just dumped him and he found out that he has (allegedly) been giving cancer to everyone close to him. Instead of proactively trying to solve or investigate these problems, he retreats to Mars, where he quickly becomes distracted by insignificant details.

Surprisingly, Jon’s personality didn’t change that much after becoming Dr. Manhattan. Even at the age of 16, he still spoke in an unusually precise manner, while hyperfixating on inconsequential matters.

At age 30, Jon understood perfectly how his entire life was dictated by others. But he never once broke free from that. Even his retreat to Mars was carefully orchestrated by someone else.

I think Jon hates being Dr. Manhattan. And he blames everyone in his life for the accident that transformed him. But at the end of the day, he was the one who carelessly left the watch in the vault, which he knew how dangerous it was from his very first day on the job.

Jon’s relationship with Janey could be romantically described as pieces of a watch fitting together because they were always meant to be. But Dr. Manhattan uses that analogy in cold, inevitable terms.

This is one of the most haunting moments of the entire Watchmen story. It’s amazing that Dr. Manhattan got together with Janey after she abandoned him like this.

Dr. Manhattan is the only super-powered individual in this story. So Moore and Gibbons went all out with his origin. And it’s fantastic.

It took Dr. Manhattan a long time to put himself back together. And I guess the question will always remain: Did he willingly do this? Or was it just inevitable?

The religious imagery is quite powerful. However, Dr. Manhattan doesn’t really act like a god — at least not like any god we want.

Dr. Manhattan’s admission of this lie is intriguing. Why does he choose to lie? And what else is he lying about?

He makes this comment after remembering his argument with the government about his costume and symbol. But everything was always out of his hands from the very beginning.

It’s fun to see Sally eagerly agree to be on TV, even though she has nothing interesting to say.

Dr. Manhattan started losing his sense of right and wrong fairly quickly. And everyone just sort of went along with it because they didn’t have any other choice.

I actually think Dr. Manhattan does have a dark sense of humor. At least a little bit. Here he’s actually reaching out, putting his hand on Hollis’ shoulder to lay it on as thick as possible that the now obsolete hero will be entering an obsolete profession. It’s that shoulder touch that convinces me Dr. Manhattan knows exactly what he’s doing here.

“Why didn’t you do something?” is the question that will always be asked of Dr. Manhattan. And it’s hard to come up with a more valid answer than: He just doesn’t care.

Dr. Manhattan is disgustingly shallow. If Laurie hadn’t broken up with him, he would have eventually dumped her for growing too old, as well.

Those are pretty cool earrings, with the little ball hovering in the middle. But they’re also Dr. Manhattan’s symbol — a reminder that Janey is essentially his property.

I think Dr. Manhattan sees a bit of himself in the Comedian, as one who understands everything but doesn’t care. However, Dr. Manhattan is wrong. The Comedian will eventually encounter something that he won’t understand, yet will care deeply about.

I’m a little surprised that it took more than two months for Dr. Manhattan to win the Vietnam War. But then again, we don’t know exactly what his role was. Note how he is not causing soldiers to explode in this panel.

Intentional or not, this is perhaps the funniest thing Dr. Manhattan has ever said. Do you mean to tell me that the guy who failed to see the immorality of exploding people’s heads is suddenly concerned about consciences?

And now for some physical humor, too. Dr. Manhattan’s butt cheeks hanging out like that in front of a group of protesters that is hilariously absurd.

Finally a reference to Rorschach. Unfortunately, there are some people who would applaud the brutal murder of an accused rapist, especially when combined with a defiant, ant-government attitude. Moore is trying to demonstrate the dangers of taking chivalry and independence to the extreme, but for some people, there’s no such thing as taking those ideals too far.

Another demonstration of Dr. Manhattan’s lack of understanding. He remembers how Laurie bemoaned her lack of privacy living in a government facility and he idiotically thinks she’d enjoy living on lifeless Mars. Had he been paying attention, he would have known that she needed more human interaction, not less.

Well, at least he acknowledged that her mood seemed restless. I guess that’s better than nothing, right?

It’s redundant to lay out everything Dr. Manhattan could have done, but chose not to. But I want to say some, anyway. Instead of investigating the claims against him, instead of trying to patch things up with Lauri, instead of — I don’t know, curing cancer! — he decides to build sand castles on Mars.

One of the scariest things about Dr. Manhattan is he doesn’t even know how his powers work. Or if he’s even actively causing things to happen. If everything’s predetermined, then what’s the point of caring?

Dr. Manhattan gained all the power in the world, and yet he still wishes he could have been a watchmaker. Depressingly, even his one true dream wasn’t originally his. It was his dad’s.

We have new supplemental material with this issue: a brief paper on Dr. Manhattan and the Cold War.

It’s a true testament to Moore’s writing that we can find absolute gems buried in these forgotten back pages. “We have labored long to build a heaven, only to find it populated with horrors” is just an incredible line. And that’s probably why Moore did these backup stories. He had all these great lines and ideas he just couldn’t work into the main narrative otherwise.

Of course, the main purpose of Professor Glass’ paper here is to explain why Dr. Manhattan hasn’t ended the Cold War.

Glass ultimately concludes that not even Dr. Manhattan could stop all of the Soviet Union’s nuclear missiles had they launched a full-scale attack. I find that reasoning unsatisfactory. If he can teleport a large group of people back into their individual homes all at once, surely he could have found a way to disarm all the nukes. I believe the true answer is because Dr. Manhattan didn’t care and the people pulling his strings, namely President Nixon, didn’t want the Cold War to end.

Both Rorschach and Dr. Manhattan dream of abandoning humanity. But while Dr. Manhattan’s departure from Earth was largely inspired by his indifference, Rorschach’s fantasies of whispering “no” come from darker delusions of self righteousness and misguided principles.

Redrafting the Jazz: 2015

I have been cursed by a witch to repeatedly travel back through time to relive every NBA draft. Fortunately, her spell sends me directly to the Utah Jazz war room on draft night and all the executives magically know I’m from the future and will do whatever I say. Unfortunately, the curse prevents me from seeing how my advice altered the future, as I am sent back to the previous year as soon as draft night ends.

June 25, 2015 – Barclays Center, New York

Previous season:

The Jazz were slowly, but surely showing signs of improvement in 2014-15. Quin Snyder had just finished his first season in Utah, Gordon Hayward was turning into a star, Rudy Gobert was developing into a defensive force and Derrick Favors was coming along nicely. Enes Kanter was traded away halfway through the year, which made everybody happier. And rookie Joe Ingles was an unexpected surprise. However, the inconsistent backcourt of Alec Burks, Trey Burke, Dante Exum and Rodney Hood held the Jazz back. And the team limped along to a mediocre 38-44 record, which landed them the 12th pick in the draft.

The draft:

Dennis Lindsey decided to use this lottery pick on Trey Lyles, a 6-9 forward from Kentucky, who would ideally spread the floor with his 3-point shooting.

With the 42nd pick, Utah drafted a point guard from Boston College named Olivier Hanlan.

The Jazz also owned the 54th pick, thanks to a 2014 trade with Cleveland involving John Lucas III. But Utah sold the pick to Portland, and they used it on a small forward from Spain named Dani Diez.

Analysis:

This is the easiest draft so far for me to fix. Utah picked Lyles at No. 12, when his Kentucky teammate, Devin Booker, went No. 13. Lyles is best known for being traded for Donovan Mitchell. While Booker has been named to three All-Stars, one All-NBA First Team and was the leading scorer on a team that reached the Finals. This is a no-brainer. True, the Jazz already had a glut of young and promising guards on their roster. And a stretch-4 would have been an incredible thing for Utah. But Booker was significantly better than Burks, Burke, Exum and Hood combined. I think Booker could have given the Jazz exactly what Mitchell did, but a few years earlier.

Olivier Hanlan played for Utah’s Summer League team, but he never made the real roster. Or any NBA roster for that matter. He’s been overseas ever since. To find a better replacement for him, I’ll have to sort through the list of undrafted players. The 2015 second round was shockingly weak — 15 of the 30 players selected never made it to the NBA. Luckily, I was able to find one diamond in the rough among the undrafted: Royce O’Neale. He eventually did make the Jazz roster a few years later and even worked his way into the starting lineup for a couple of seasons. I say let’s do that all over again but just start the process a little earlier.

Dani Diez also never made it to the NBA, so the Jazz didn’t miss out on anything there. I never could find out exactly how much money Portland gave Utah for the pick, but I don’t think that could have been any better than Christian Wood. On paper, at least, it seems like he could have given the Jazz everything they wanted from Lyles. Was Wood just putting up big numbers on a bad team? Is he a bit of a head case? I don’t know. But I think with the 54th pick of the draft, the Jazz could have afforded to have given him a chance.

My advice:

1. Use the 12th pick on Devin Booker.

2. Use the 42nd pick on Royce O’Neale.

3. Keep the 54th pick and use it on Christian Wood.

Hayward was never very comfortable being the primary scoring option. Booker could have taken that pressure off him. Would it have been enough to convince Hayward to stay in Utah? I doubt it. But I’m fine. I’d much rather have Booker than Hayward, anyway. And pairing Booker with Gobert, Favors and Ingles is a very intriguing lineup.

I’m also quite intrigued by what Wood might have done for Utah. Again, on paper, he could have given Utah everything they wanted. O’Neale, on the other hand, is a known quantity. He thrived in Snyder’s system, so that’s why I put him over Wood. 

Sadly, I never got to see what Snyder and the Jazz would have done with an All-NBA guard. That witch’s curse has abruptly sent me back to 2014, where the Jazz have the 5th pick and things have become a bit more complicated.

Watchmen #3: Rorschach gets one right

Alan Moore said that when he started working on Watchmen, he realized he only had enough story for six issues, which was unfortunate because he had been contracted to write 12. Even though he still turned out a sublime work of art, there are a few times where it feels like Moore is stretching things out to make that 12-issue quota. And this is where that begins for me, which is a shame, as this issue features the biggest part of Adrian Veidt’s plan.

This issue opens with two characters that the story probably didn’t need to include — Bernard and Bernie. Keeping with the theme of creating unlikable characters, Bernard is an old newspaper vendor, who constantly proclaims he was right, regardless what the headlines say, and Bernie is a freeloader, who spends his time reading comics he doesn’t pay for.

At this point in the story, we still don’t know this is Rorschach. But this is a truly frightening, unhinged appearance for him. He likes to pretend that his mask is his real face, but I think this is. Rorschach is a deranged, intimidating psycho, whose one indulgence in the world is a far-right newspaper.

Whether he means to be or not, Rorschach is a rather funny character. And although this scene is humorous, it is consistent with his character. His first journal entry in issue #1 begins with him searching for signs in grotesque oddities he encounters. Reading — and believing — a sensationalist tabloid is absolutely something he would do. And, as we’ll see later, Rorschach understands that the “end of the world” is more of a process than a singular event.

We then move to an unsettling scene of Dr. Manhattan trying — and failing — to sexually please Lauri by duplicating himself. The failing part isn’t surprising. But the attempt is. Dr. Manhattan was introduced to us a being that sees no difference between a living human and a dead one. But as this issue will show us, there is a real, feeling Jon Osterman still buried deep down inside him. Perhaps he was sparked by the Comedian’s death, which reminded him of the horrific moment when he realized just how removed he was from humanity. But despite this renewed interest in deepening his connection with his girlfriend, he’s incapable of giving her his undivided attention.

He doesn’t understand why Laurie was upset by him continuing to work while simultaneously making love to her. But there is just enough Jon left inside Dr. Manhattan to feel bad that he’s hurt Laurie’s feelings. And it’s that little bit of remaining emotion that will be so crucial to Adrian’s plan.

Jon’s first girlfriend, Janey Slater, is an embittered woman dying of cancer. Yet the story she tells the newspaper is 100% accurate. Not that we needed another reason to dislike Dr. Manhattan, but he literally did hook up with a 16-year-old girl.

Laurie also seems to have been sparked by the Comedian’s death, building on the feelings that began in the first issue. She didn’t realize just how isolated she was until the outside world in the form of Rorschach forced its way in. And she had forgotten how nice it was to talk to a real human being until her dinner with Dan.

Lauri wasn’t dumped for a younger, prettier girl. She dumped the most powerful being in the universe. And the joke here is that Dan is wrong (and Rorschach is shockingly right) about this being the end of the world.

This may be one of the most chilling lines in this entire story (which is full of chilling lines). But it’s not entirely accurate. Dr. Manhattan does care. But only a tiny bit. And he doesn’t know how to show that he cares.

Dan and Laurie intentionally go walking through a bad neighborhood. They’re not as bad as Rorschach busting into a bar just to break a guy’s fingers, but they are kind of hoping for a fight.

To show how much of an effort Dr. Manhattan is putting into this interview, he not only put on a suit and tie, but he even altered his skin color to show up better on TV.

Curiously, this is Dr. Manhattan’s first media interview. I don’t know when this was scheduled, but it seems reasonable to suggest Dr. Manhattan sought to use this event to help him reconnect with humanity.

Dr. Manhattan had a government handler telling him what he could and couldn’t say on TV. But in a sign of shocking ineptitude, this handler didn’t have the foresight of insisting on pre-approved questions from the reporters.

Moore is directly telling us that this level of violence is supposed to make us feel uncomfortable. In fact, most of the violence depicted in this story is brutal, graphic and unworthy of glorification.

Just look at how quickly that handler loses control of the situation! Why did he allow all those reporters to crowd around Dr. Manhattan? What is he even doing?

Adrian’s plan completely depended on the last remaining vestiges of emotion lingering in Jon’s heart. It’s truly amazing that he was able to observe that Dr. Manhattan did care about things just enough to be affected by this big reveal. If it were up to Laurie, she probably would have said that Dr. Manhattan wouldn’t have cared about giving cancer to his old friends.

Another great example of Dave Gibbons’ storytelling. A billboard for Rorschach’s favorite newspaper, The New Frontiersman, has been graffitied to say, “In your hearts, you know it’s rightwing.”

Bernie bizarrely asks to borrow Bernard’s hat, even though he’s sitting out in the rain, too. I know what Moore is setting up here, but I don’t think anyone would say, “Hey, give me your hat so I can be dry while you get wet.”

Another example of government ineptitude. Dr. Manhattan was by far their most valuable asset, yet they knew very little about him. It shouldn’t have taken a single newspaper reporter to tell them how many of Dr. Manhattan’s past colleagues had cancer.

And a more competent government wouldn’t have let this place become an abandoned ruin. They would have meticulously preserved and studied every single item and person connected to the most powerful being in the universe.

It is nice to slow down the pacing of the story from time to time, but this, combined with the pirate comic and the Bernards, really feels like Moore is struggling to fill all the pages this month.

Rorschach is wrong about a lot of things in this story, but on the subject of the end of the world, he was actually right — to an extent. The departure of Dr. Manhattan signaled the beginning of the end of the world as all these characters knew it.

I still can’t get over how bad this government official was at his job. He knew how important it was to keep Dr. Manhattan emotionally stable. Yet he never foresaw the possibility that a reporter would try to get under his skin. Somebody needs to fire this guy!

To demonstrate how the world isn’t safe anymore, Rorschach breaks into Dan’s apartment again, destroying a brand new lock in the process. He’s angry that Dan didn’t take him seriously after the Comedian’s death. He feels a little vindicated now his (incorrect) “mask killer” theory has some weight behind it. And just like everyone else in this story, he’s scared by the departure of Dr. Manhattan.

We can see just how quickly Adrian’s plan is bearing fruit. There’s nothing more effective at bringing people together than the threat of Armageddon.

As Dr. Manhattan casually strolls across the surface of Mars, I can’t help but think of how easily he could have dismantled the Soviet Union. He can teleport and literally be in multiple places at once. It seems like — if he wanted to — he could have disarmed all the Soviet’s nuclear missiles before they had a chance to retaliate. The question isn’t why didn’t Dr. Manhattan want to do that — he doesn’t want to do anything. The question is why didn’t Nixon order him to do that. Was it because Nixon, like so many authoritarian dictators, saw the political value of a constant threat in the form of the Soviet Union?

I find it rich that Nixon suddenly balks at having to prepare for a nuclear strike. He used Dr. Manhattan to conquer Vietnam, but then that was it. He set himself up as president for life, never bothering to seek any long-term, diplomatic solutions because he assumed Dr. Manhattan would always be around to maintain the status quo.

Watchmen is a deconstruction of the superhero genre. And Moore is making the argument that life is much better without superheroes. As much as we’d like to have someone with god-like powers to solve all our problems, Moore demonstrates quite effectively how awful that would be. We’d live in a constant state of worry that said “hero” would get too emotional and abandon his post. Or, even worse, turn against the people he’s supposed to protect.

The issue end with the conclusion of Hollis Mason’s book. And the old man still can’t stop gossiping. He acts noble by saying he won’t go into the details of Sally’s failed marriage, but he didn’t need to bring it up in the first place.

Hollis does explain perfectly why there aren’t any superheroes in real life. They just don’t make any sense in a world without any supervillains.

And for those still trying to view Hollis as a good guy, keep in mind that he literally blamed the degradation of society on Elvis Presley. He may not be as bigoted as Captain Metropolis, but he still clings to some antiquated, regressive ideals.

Hollis squeezes in a few more hits against his former colleagues, while reminding us once again of how he quietly covered for the Comedian for years. But Hollis’ faults are much more benign than every other characters’ faults, so it is understandable that some would view him as the most heroic, most inspirational character of the story. I know I did.