Movie Review: X-Men

So this is my first superhero post, which is a review of the first X-Men movie, simply titled X-Men. I haven't seen X-Men: First Class yet so I decided to watch all the other X-Men movies to prepare.

X-Men came out in 2000, was directed by Bryan Singer, starred Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, and Ian McKellen. The movie is significant historically because it was Marvel's first major movie and subsequently kicked off the glorious superhero age we now live in.

Before I begin my review, I need to explain my scoring system. Everything starts with a generic score of 5 out of 10. Whenever I see something I love, I add a point. When I see something I hate, I take away a point. Got it? Good. Let's go.

This movie starts on a very strong note with the origin of Magneto. I loved the subdued colors except for the yellow stars of David. The whole scene was emotional and beautiful. All X-Men fans knew exactly what this was and those who didn't know soon found out.

I think the film actually did a great job of introducing people to the X-Men, while keeping any discrepancies from the comics and cartoons to a minimum, so that geeks like me wouldn't get too mad.

So after I added a point for the origin of Magneto, I added another point after we see the origin of Rogue, bringing the score up to 7. This was another well-done scene that is quite haunting. They also did a good job of explaining how mutant powers manifest themselves during adolescence during times of extreme emotion. I do have a slight complaint about how Rogue assumed that she can't touch anyone anywhere. She hurt the boy after kissing him — not just touching his hand. Oh well, it's not a big enough of a complaint to drop any points off.

Later, Rogue meets Wolverine, finds out he's a mutant and sneaks into his trailer. Wolverine was driving along and suddenly stopped for no reason and found Rogue hidden in his trailer. Did he suddenly smell her? I didn't see his nose sniff as they always show when he smells someone. Another small complaint, but I'll let it got because we got to see Wolverine quickly heal soon after, which was really cool the first time we saw it, and now it is required.

Anyway, the arrival of Sabertooth marks the arrival of the most frustrating and disappointing character in this movie. First of all, Sabertooth looked completely stupid. I didn't like his long blond hair or his ridiculously bushy eyebrows. Also, he is incredibly stupid and incompetent. He snarls and growls more than speaks and he fails every single assignment that Magneto gives him. And, worst of all, they took out the most interesting aspect of his character — that of being Wolverine's rival. Without that, he's just another tough mutant with long fingernails. Seriously, they could have replaced Sabertooth with the Blob in this movie and it wouldn't have changed anything. Might have made it better, actually. So, for the sin of messing up Sabertooth, I have to drop the score down to 6.

The first arrival of the X-Men was nice because we got to hear Michael Kamen's X-Men theme for the first time, which was slightly reminiscent of the old animated series' theme — a move that was later copied by Hans Zimmer in Batman Begins. Anyway, in our first look at the X-Men, Cyclops does a good job of blasting Sabertooth and saving Rogue, but Storm ... makes it snow a little more than it is already snowing? The character of Storm was also messed up pretty bad in this movie. Halle Berry brought no life to the role and the script made her powers terribly weak and ineffectual. I'm not dropping a point for Storm here, but remember that these little complaints are adding up.

I really did like the limited time we had at the school. I really wanted a lot more of it, though. We see Pyro and Iceman and a girl who's supposed to be Kitty Pryde and a kid with blue hair, a kid who can teleport, and a kid who can run on water ... and that's about it. This movie simply did not have enough mutants. Look, the X-Men only have three people on their team. Is three people enough to call it a team, let alone justify buying a big super-stealthy jet? Also, Magneto's Brotherhood of Mutants has only three people in it beside himself. Is that enough people to qualify for a brotherhood?

I'll combine this complaint with another one to drop the score another point. The complaint: The movie is uncomfortable with the superhero genre. This is a little understandable since this was the first attempt to make a movie like this — one with lots of superheroes in a realistic setting. So I do understand a little of their failure in this area, but they almost seemed to draw attention to it. Wolverine makes fun of everybody's hero name even though he goes by Wolverine instead of Logan. They also just couldn't get anybody's look right (except for Xavier). I already complained about Sabertooth, but Toad's hair was obviously died green and Magneto's outfit was so disappointing. His helmet was too small and awkward and his cape was nonexistent. I guess Mystique looked OK, but I don't know why she kept running around naked or insisted on beating up people with her feet for that matter. I also wasn't a fan of the X-Men's black leather jumpsuits. Cyclops had the famous line: "Would you rather wear bright yellow?" to which I answer, "Yes!" So now our score is back down to 5.

Now it's time for some plot holes. First of all, Wolverine is having a nightmare and for some reason Rogue goes into his room to calm him down. How did she know where he was sleeping and why did she go in there? Heck, how did she even know he was having a nightmare in the first place? So anyway, Wolverine stabs her and she survives by touching him and acquiring his healing ability. Did she know that would work or did she think she would die and just wanted to caress his face one last time? It's not like they had much of a history together. She talked to him in a bar, snuck into his trailer, and survived a crash with him. Now they're best buddies all of a sudden? By the way, even though Wolverine can heal incredibly quickly, it sure takes him a long time to recover after Rogue touches him.

Now's where things really start to get weird. Mystique sneaks into the school, turns into Bobby Drake and convinces Rogue to run away. How did Mystique A) Get into the school, and B) Know Bobby was Rogue's boyfriend? Was she hiding in the school all along? I know the writers needed a way to get Rogue away from the school so she could be kidnapped, but there had to be a better way.

Also Mystique somehow manages to get to the lowest level of the mansion and into its most secure area — Cerebro. She somehow connects this tube of evil-looking green liquid to it, which puts Xavier into a coma. Why didn't she do something more harmful while she was there, like completely destroy Cerebro or destroy their jet or do something that made sense? They never really explained how Xavier fell into that coma and it was totally unnecessary. I know they did it so the team would have to battle Magneto on their own, and Cyclops could have that cheesy monologue about him becoming the leader, but I don't think that final fight would have been any different even if Xavier was awake. Also, why did they leave him alone in a coma. As far as I can tell, Jean Grey was their only doctor. This is what happens when you only have a handful of mutants. Anyway, the score now falls to 4 because of these plot holes.

But I will add a point for Xavier and Magneto's showdown, which was really nice. Magneto held all the police hostage with their own guns, while Charles held Magneto hostage with his own henchmen. That nice scene brings us back up to 5.

But the final fight scene sends us back down to 4. Wolverine had way too much trouble with Mystique and Toad kicked Jean Grey's, Cyclops', and Storm's butts. Toad? Beat up those three? There was also a missed opportunity to work with Storm's claustrophobia when she gets stuck in the elevator. They could have done it quick and it would have brought some much-needed depth to her boring, flat character. Also, the effects in this fight were noticeably bad. I know this movie is 10 years old now, so I'm not expecting miracles, but some basics were just poorly done, mostly every time Toad jumped or fell. It was just too slow and controlled-looking.

The fight moves to the Statue of Liberty, where Magneto rightly subdues everyone very quickly. However, the X-Men still should have been able to escape. Cyclops tells Storm to "fry" Magneto, but he says lightning in the tower would kill them all. Why couldn't she freeze him? I thought she could control more elements than just lightning. Also, why didn't Jean Grey do anything? Instead, they escaped by having Wolverine stab himself ... which somehow released him from Magneto's bond? Also, when Sabertooth took of Cyclops' glasses, I swear I saw him crush them. Apparently he didn't. But he should have, instead of placing them neatly at their feet. Then we get to the final climax where the only possible way to save Rogue is to have Storm fly Wolverine up there with Jean Grey "stabilizing" him and Cyclops waiting until the last possible second to shoot Magneto. Why couldn't Storm fly there herself? Why could Jean fly? What did Jean actually do to help? Why was Cyclops so worried to hit Rogue at the start, but suddenly had a "clear shot" after Wolverine got up there? Was he just trying to hit Wolverine in the first place? (That actually makes some sense.)

Now I have to knock of another point (sending us down to 3) because of the X-Men's complete indifference toward death. The worst was probably Storm straight-up murdering Toad. It wasn't an accident — she looked him right in the eye and struck him with lightning and watched him fall to his death. Aren't the good guys supposed to not kill? No one cares when Sabertooth dies, either, and Mystique should have died after Wolverine stabbed her. I guess having three foot-long blades rammed through your stomach isn't that bad because Mystique was not only able to survive for quite a while, but maintain enough strength to disguise herself as a security guard and maintain that disguise while they take her to the hospital to stitch her up.

The Senator Kelly situation also needs to be addressed. We know he is a high-profile politician with a lot of loyal supporters. So why didn't anyone notice he was kidnapped? After he escapes, he shows up on a crowded beach naked and sick as a dog. Yet he somehow makes it to Xavier's mansion without anyone noticing. Then he dies and the X-Men don't tell anyone! I know he's a mutant-hater, but doesn't he have a family? This failure comes full-circle when they see Mystique impersonating Kelly on TV. It's like, "Dang it, Mystique beat us to the punch!" Terrible. The only reason I'm not dropping another point here is because I kind of like the idea of Mystique impersonating a senator. It just doesn't work when the X-Men knew Kelly was dead in advance. I know they needed to see him die so they could find out that Magneto's mutation machine killed people. However, this makes it seem like they didn't care that Magneto would have turned people into mutants, but only that he would kill people. Regardless, I think they still could have had Kelly go to the X-Men, tell them Magneto's plan, then leave and die without them knowing. Then they would find out Kelly was dead because Mystique took his place. Just an idea.

The score rises up to a 4 thanks to the beautiful ending scene. I loved the plastic prison, the glass chessboard, and the way the chess game followed Xavier's and Magneto's conversation. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen really carried the film and it was great to end with them.

I will also add one bonus point at the end because of the significance this movie had on the superhero genre. Before X-Men, there was the Christopher Reeves Superman franchise and the Batman franchise of the '90s. The atrocious Batman & Robin of 1997 almost kept superheroes off the big screen for good. But X-Men came along, earned more than $150 million, and gave studios enough confidence to make Spider-Man movies, Iron Man movies, and, indirectly, Batman and Superman movies. We really owe a lot of thanks to this first X-Men movie, despite its many flaws. Therefore, I give it a final score of 5 out of 10.