Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

The first two Superman movies were filmed at the same time, but after the success of the first one, the studio quickly made a contract to film three more Superman movies. But after the disaster of Superman III, no one really wanted to make the next two. So the "fourth" Superman movie was actually a Supergirl movie, which I've never seen, and was apparently horrible. After a lot of negotiation, begging, and pleading, they were finally able to convince Christopher Reeve to return one last time. However, Reeve only agreed to this if he could have a say in the story, which he wanted to be about ending the nuclear arms race. He was also able to convince Gene Hackman and Margot Kidder to come back. Unfortunately, Richard Donner refused to direct, but fortunately, Richard Lester also turned it down. So Sidney Furie directed 1987's Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

There definitely was a big push to return to the magic and feel of the first Superman movies. However, most of these attempts were negated by the severe lack of budget. At the last second, the movie's budget was literally cut in half and about 40 minutes of planned screen time were also cut. This made the story feel rather rushed, and also created the worst special effects in the franchise. Seriously, Superman: The Movie, which came out nine years before this one, had better special effects. The soundtrack, which returned to John Williams' score, also was weak because it sounded like it was played on a synthesizer. I have to take a point off for this.

I'll take another point off for possibly the worst character in the franchise (which is saying a lot) — Lex Luthor's long-lost nephew, Lenny. He was supposed to be stupid (yes), funny (wasn't), and "cool" (not even close). I was OK with having Lenny help Lex escape from the chain gang, but having him assist in advanced genetic cloning to create Nuclear Man? That's too much for me. Luthor would not let this idiot anywhere near such a delicate operation. Later, Nuclear Man used his obscure powers to spin Lenny around a million times, which Lenny thought was "cool" because he was "break dancing." OK, so maybe he wasn't as bad as half the characters in Superman III, but he definitely belonged in that movie more.

One interesting scene was when Clark was worried about Superman's role in the nuclear arms race and he decided to ask for Lois' opinion by revealing his secret identity to her. I kind of liked how he did this, by simply jumping off the roof with her and switching to his Superman outfit while keeping his glasses on. That's all he needed to do. But then he decided to fly all around the country with her and let her "fly" on her own for way too long to be physically possible. Not only was this a stupid idea, but it looked terrible, too. Then he ended the whole thing with another stupid amnesia kiss. The score is now a 2.

I'll take off another point for Nuclear Man. He is just plain dumb. He had really abstract powers, long, sharp finger nails for no reason, and didn't look anything like Superman, despite being created from Superman's DNA. He also had the annoying weakness of becoming completely powerless the second he steps into the shade. They should have used Bizarro instead.

I will add a point for an unexpectedly good character in Lacy Warfield. Her dad bought the Daily Planet and turned it into sensationalist tabloid, but Lacy eventually learns the values of honest, objective journalism. Lacy also starts as a spoiled brat who can have any man she wants, until she meets Clark Kent, who's the exact opposite of her. Trying to win him over, she falls in love with him for being Clark, not Superman. This is what Lana Lang should have been, but she spent too much time with Superman to have really demonstrated actually loving Clark. Lacy was a refreshing change of pace.

Superman and Nuclear Man engage in what should have been an exciting battle sweeping across the globe, but poor special effects and hasty editing really ruined it. Plus, some parts were kind of cheesy to begin with. Nuclear Man erupting a volcano was OK, but using the Statue of Liberty as a weapon was really lame. And then the absolute worst part of it was when he broke the Great Wall of China and Superman quickly repaired it with his mysterious "wall vision." This continues the trend of giving Superman more strange powers; earlier, we saw him stop a subway train by ... somehow absorbing the electricity in the rails? Anyway, the score's back down to a 1.

Nuclear Man scratched Superman, which poisoned him, leaving him holed up in his apartment as a sick Clark Kent. Lois comes to him, gives him Superman's cape, a pick-up talk, and strongly hinted that she knew he was Superman. I really liked this. Despite all his amnesia kisses, she had figured it out and was at peace with it. Really, I think Superman is best when he haves someone he can confide in who knows his secret, whether it be Lois or Martha Kent. We're back to a 2.

Because so much time was cut out of the movie, a lot of plot points happened very quickly, and if you weren't paying attention, you would be quite confused. The most confusing part was when Nuclear Man randomly decided that he wanted Lacy Warfield. While this was confusing in and of itself, it got even weirder when Superman also somehow knew exactly who Nuclear Man was after. Did it have something to do with her working for the Planet? I don't know. A quick one-minute scene of explanation would have been great. But since we didn't get it, I'll have to take off a point.

I'll take off another point for a really, really stupid part. Nuclear Man manages to grab Lacy and immediately heads toward outer space. He has left the earth's atmosphere with her at his side by the time Superman catches up to them. It's OK for Nuclear Man to survive in space, but Lacy should not!

This really wasn't a good movie at all. It had no budget, was hastily thrown together, and through most of it, it seemed like the actors were just going through the motions. Nobody really wanted to make this movie, but they kind of felt obligated to do it. But it did have some interesting ideas and a few nice little  moments. One such moment was the very end — the same ending for all four films — Superman flying  around the world and smiling at the camera. This time felt a little different, though, like Christopher Reeve truly was saying goodbye. It was his last performance of Superman, and he really did a great job with the character through all four films, despite the many problems they had. So to honor him, I will add a final bonus point.

Final score: 1

Jazz Season Awards

I haven't really written anything about the Jazz all year, partly because I've been busy with other things, but mostly because of the lockout. It really messed everything up and made me really mad, so while I've paid attention, I have kept my distance this year. The Jazz were so up and down and around this year, I really had a hard time figuring out if we were a good team. The one game I went to, The Return of Jimmer Part II, was a complete let down, as the Jazz showed very little interest in winning that game, let alone making the playoffs. But all of a sudden, Utah started showing some spirit, and here we are — ready to open the first round against the Spurs on Sunday. While I am quite positive we will be crushed by San Antonio, it is nice to be back. So in honor of this unexpected achievement, I am presenting the regular season awards for the Jazz.

Sportmanship Award: Gordon Hayward

"Elder" Hayward really has had an excellent season all year. He's been playing pretty decent defense and getting into a some players' heads, like Delonte West, for example. But the great thing about Hayward is he never retaliates or complains, which is quite refreshing nowadays. He really deserves this award for that "West willy" incident alone, but he's also been a really good sport all year long. He only got one technical foul this year, which was a rather dubious double-tech called on him and Mo Williams. If that's the most trouble he'll get into, then I approve.

Most Improved Player: Gordon Hayward

This isn't going to just be a Gordon Hayward blog, I swear. There were a couple of candidates for this award on the Jazz, like Derrick Favors, Devin Harris (compared to what he did last year), and even Jamaal Tinsley and Josh Howard both had pretty nice comebacks. But in terms of unexpected improvement, Hayward is head and shoulders above the rest. He went from being the why-did-the-Jazz-draft-him guy to the hey-he-could-actually-be-a-legit-shooting-guard guy. Last year, he averaged 5 points, 2 rebounds and 1 assist in about 17 minutes per game. This season, 11.8 points, 3.5 rebounds, 3 assists, and 30 minutes a game. He played all 66 games and started 58 of them. I always thought he was a good player, but I didn't expect him to become our top shooting guard in just his second season. I still do mourn the loss of Wesley Matthews, but the emergence of Hayward is making it a lot easier.

Sixth Man: Derrick Favors

This really was C.J. Miles' award to lose, and he sure lost it. (Remember he said he'd be an All-Star this year?) Instead it falls to second-year forward Derrick Favors, who really has been having a big impact off the bench lately. Favors is averaging 8.8 ppg and 6.5 rpg in 21 minutes off the bench. His impact is especially grown in the past few games with Tyrone Corbin using the super cool big lineup of Harris, Hayward, Millsap, Favors and Jefferson. I hope Millsap gets better at shooting 3s so he can play more at small forward alongside Favors.

Defensive Player of the Year: Paul Millsap

This award was Raja Bell's to lose, and boy, did he lose it. Instead, it'll go to Millsap, who led the Jazz with a surprising 1.8 steals per game. He also averaged a career high 8.8 rebounds per game, while putting up his usual 16.6 ppg, 2 apg, and 0.8 bpg. He did go into a little funk after he didn't make it to the All-Star game, but he eventually recovered and became a major reason for Utah's success this year. He's done a pretty good job against the other big name power forwards like Blake Griffin, Kevin Love and Dirk Nowitzki. He also has a good sense for coming up with big plays when the Jazz need it, whether on offense or defense.

Rookie of the Year: Alec Burks

This really was only a two-man battle for this award, but I felt I needed to recognize Burks' achievements. When Bell, Miles, and Howard went down with injuries, it looked like the Jazz were going to protect their draft pick from falling into Minnesota's hands. But then Alec Burks stepped up and showed everybody why Utah picked him. His ability to get to the rim and his high energy have been invaluable for the Jazz. I do believe that Enes Kanter will have the better career in the long run, but for this season, Burks was the better player.

Most Valuable Player: Al Jefferson

I really debated between Big Al and Millsap on this one, and even considered having a co-MVP, but after the recent big wins over Dallas and Phoenix, I realize that Jefferson is finally becoming what the Jazz have needed for a while now — a go-to guy. Down the stretch of those close games, the Jazz would go to Jefferson whenever they needed two clutch points. Yes, Millsap has been making big plays, but Jefferson's been the one making the tough shots, which, in my opinion, is what the MVP is supposed to do. Big Al led the Jazz in points (19.2), rebounds (9.6), and blocks (1.7). He's learned that passing the ball is a good thing, and he's even started to play a little defense. My biggest complaint is that he takes too many jump shots and doesn't fight to get to the foul line enough (he only averages 2.9 free throw attempts per game, his lowest since he was in Boston). If he can fix that problem, then the Jazz could have a chance to go somewhere with him as the main man.

Superman III

Look at this movie poster for a little bit. Does that look like a serious action film? I don't think so. So it should be no surprise when I don't give this a very high score. In fact, I'll be giving this movie the lowest possible score. Superman III came out in 1983 and returned director Richard Lester, best known for working on the early Beatles films and nearly destroying Superman II. Christopher Reeve, Richard Pryor, and Jackie Cooper star in this film that couldn't decide if it wanted to be a comedy or an action film.

Richard Lester was very excited to get legendary comedian Richard Pryor on board, and decided to feature him a little too much for my liking. Before the opening credits and familiar Superman theme, the movie starts with Pryor complaining about unemployment in a completely non funny way. From there, we go into an extended slapstick gag scene complete with pies in faces and a man with a bucket stuck on his head. In the first Superman movie, we saw a Metropolis that needed a Superman because of the rampant crime in broad daylight. In this one, we see a Metropolis that needs protection from its own idiocy. The entire city was almost destroyed because a pretty lady walked down the street! It really took about two minutes before it actually started to a resemble a Superman film. If I was watching this movie in the theater in 1983, I probably would have wondered if I was in the right movie. "Is this theater 4? I'm sure she said it was to my left ... oh, here's the title. I guess this really is Superman."

Speaking of Richard Pryor, he was painfully unfunny. Maybe his humor was better in 1983, but today, I only found his antics annoying and anything but humorous. His character also didn't make much sense. He's an unemployed unskilled bum for 36 weeks straight who happens to discover he's good at computers. Well, that's one thing, but he was making computers do impossible things and he didn't even know how he was doing what he doing. He then works with the bad guys and tries to kill Superman, but at the end he quickly and randomly changes his mind, and all is forgiven because he's the sweet, lovable comic relief. I really think Richard Lester should have done a non-Superman movie with Richard Pryor playing basically the same character. It would have made a fair comedy and everyone would have been happier. Instead, we ended up with a movie that isn't a good comedy or a good superhero movie.

Superman's first main bit of action was saving a burning chemical plant on his way to Smallville. This was a rather lame scene filled with a lot of bad acting and the resolution of Superman freezing a big chunk of a nearby lake to carry over to the fire, which would turn into ran and extinguish the flames. If he could freeze the lake, why couldn't he put out the fire with his super breath? That would have been a lot easier.

I did like the idea of Superman returning to Smallville and meeting Lana Lang, who is one of the staple characters of the Superman mythos, but I was kind of sad with how they treated Lana. She wasn't bad or anything, she was just a carbon copy of Lois Lane. Of course, this happened because Margot Kidder, upset with how Superman II turned out, didn't want to be in Superman III. The producers eventually convinced her to make a brief cameo at the beginning and the end, leaving themselves with the task of hastily finding a new love interest for Superman. Instead of taking the time to create a distinct character, they made a Smallville version of Lois. The way Lana talked really fast to Clark while doing a million things and not looking at him was straight from Lois. I wouldn't take a point off for this, but it doesn't matter — I have and will continue to take off way too many points from this poor movie.

Similar to Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman right out refused to be in this movie and couldn't be persuaded otherwise. So that left the producers with another gaping hole, which they hastily filled with Ross Webster, a near-perfect Lex Luthor clone. Except this time, his cute girlfriend is secretly smart, and bumbling Otis has been replaced with Ross' shrewd and ugly sister, Vera, who makes her appearance with the awful line, "Pay attention, I'm about to take a human life!" Seriously, why did the villain have to Luthor or Luthor-ish? Didn't Richard Lester know that Superman actually has a lot of interesting villains to choose from? Oh, that's right. He didn't.

Lester made another goof when he had Clark Kent help out Lana's boy at the bowling alley. He "sneezed" and caused the bowling ball to explode and shattered all the pins. Superman wouldn't do that! Yes, he would help little Ricky, but he wouldn't make a big scene out of it and destroy everything. Just give the ball a gentle nudge — no need to break anything. Also, what is that kid going to think the next time he bowls and can't destroy all the pins?

In one of the more important scenes of the movie, Richard Pryor creates an incomplete Kryptonite (because that was apparently easier than finding the real thing) and presents it to Superman with a long-winded speech that I suppose was intended to be funny. Maybe for little kids. Anyway, this fake Kryptonite looks exactly like real Kryptonite. Why would Superman allow anyone to hand him anything that was green and glowing? He should have said, "Sorry, general, but that green rock actually is toxic to me. While I appreciate the gesture, I'm afraid I cannot accept your gift." Then we would have had a much shorter movie, which probably would have been a good thing.

So the fake Kryptonite didn't hurt Superman, but it did turn him evil, which is actually a really good idea. However, Evil Superman didn't really do anything evil. Let's see ... he pushed the Leaning Tower of Pisa upright. Monster! He blew out the Olympic flame. Barbaric! Then he ... uh ... broke some mirrors. Heathen! And then, Superman himself committed the worst sin imaginable to mankind. He created an oil spill! NOO!! We're all doomed! This is definitely worse than Luthor's nuclear missiles or General Zod conquering the White House!

But the Evil Superman did have one good moment. When annoying little Ricky called out to him in innocence, that triggered the good in Superman to come out in the form of Clark Kent to battle Evil Superman. Christopher Reeve did an excellent job of playing two completely opposite personalities of the psychological fight between the two egos. One representing power and greed, the other humanity and morality. Although this is the best part of the movie, it kind of hurts it in the same way the tender scenes with Alfred hurt Batman & Robin. Without this intense and deep scene, you probably could have written Superman III off as a comedic spoof. But since it's in, then this movie can't be a comedy and is really just a lame action movie. So sad.

At the end, the bad guys set up a super vague super computer that can defend itself against anything, apparently. The evil plan here is to lure Superman out to the computer and use its defenses to destroy him. But for some reason, they decided to take the time to design the defenses to look exactly like a Nintendo game, complete with high scores and game overs. The game, by the way, made no sense because Webster would randomly get score from 100 to 500 for exploding missiles that didn't even hit Superman. Seriously, what was the point of that?

Oh, and did I mention that the super computer was stupid? After randomly turning good, Richard Pryor tried to destroy his creation, but couldn't because "it wanted to live." Then, in a rather disturbing scene, the computer randomly decided to turn Vera into a robot. Luckily, Superman was able to outsmart the smartest and most powerful computer in the world, which apparently didn't know anything about the jar of acid he had. They probably could have done a fair job with Brainiac, instead they kept things safe with the formula they knew, but wasn't necessarily good.

Technically, this movie would get a negative 3, but my official score will be a little more merciful. The moral of the story is: While some humor is good for Superman, too much is deadlier than Kryptonite.

Final score: 0

Superman II

The first two Superman movies were shot at the same time, but the producers and the original director, Richard Donner, got into an argument (mainly over the budget) and fired him before the second movie was finished. This caused 1980's Superman II to suffer a lot more than it should have, ruining a potentially awesome sequel. Although it returned the original cast, Gene Hackman, Christopher Reeve, Ned Beatty, etc., it had a new, hastily hired director, Richard Lester, who admitted to have never heard of Superman before working on the movie. I'll say that again. The director of Superman II had never heard of the character until he was hired. We're in for a long ride.

The opening credits relied heavily on flashbacks from the first movie, but notably absent was Jor-El. Apparently Marlon Brando had got into a complex salary fight with the producers, and they decided at the last minute to cut his part out of the movie and replace it with Superman's mom. While I think it is nice to see more of Kal-El's mother, it really doesn't look good to reshow the imprisonment of General Zod without the main prosecutor, Jor-El. Now, I've heard a lot of stories about how Marlon Brando was especially difficult to work with at this time. He demanded a massive salary and refused to memorize his lines, using cue cards instead. Now I don't know all the details, but from what I understand, even though his parts were entirely removed from Superman II, he was paid anyway. If that was the case, then the producers should have bitten the bullet and left him in the film. He is perhaps the most captivating actor I've ever seen, and he really would have helped this movie. I have to take a point off for his omission.

The score drops to a 3 for just overall stupidity and sloppiness. There were so many last-minute changes that a lot of plot elements were never properly explained (I'll get to the big ones later) and a lot of transition scenes had added-in voice overs trying to explain things while the screen showed generic background footage or faraway doubles impersonating the main characters. The worst with these scenes was Lex Luthor because Gene Hackman left when Richard Donner did, so they had to get someone to impersonate his voice for those stupid little transition scenes. This movie was also victim to Lester's lack of knowledge of Superman. In one scene, Clark Kent is crossing the road and gets hit by a taxi. Clark is unharmed, of course, but the taxi is totaled. Clark would never be so careless to destroy property like that and provide an opportunity for people to become suspicious of his secret identity. Also, we see Lois squeezing the juice out of a ton of oranges in an effort to stay healthy while she's smoking a cigarette. Apparently, this was because of a deal the studio made with Marlboro. Not only did they include large Marlboro billboards and trucks, but they insisted on making Lois Lane a chain smoker. Just terrible. Thankfully after this movie, Congress passed a law prohibiting cigarette companies from advertising to minors through movies like this.

I will add a point for Lex Luthor's escape. Not only was I impressed with how he was able to create a hologram projector and a machine to track Superman while in prison, I was really glad that he left Otis behind. Not only was Otis a bumbling idiot that didn't add to the story at all, but this act showed Luthor's heartlessness. It was also fitting that Luthor would team up with Zod. Of course, this would have been even better had Luthor prepared a piece of Kryptonite to use on Zod when he needed to, but alas!

The score will rise to a 5 for the continuing fun of Lois and Clark's relationship. I liked watching Clark trying to save Lois without using his powers, and it was pretty sweet when he finally revealed his secret identity to her. This is also one area that I think was actually an improvement over the original Richard Donner version. Originally, Lois is even more obsessed with proving Clark is Superman, and she jumps out of a window of the Daily Planet and shoots Clark point blank with a gun. Both of those were a little extreme for my liking, and I preferred the Niagara Falls jump and Clark falling into the fire. The Niagara Falls scene had the added benefit of Clark cutting a tree branch with his heat vision to help Lois, and the fire scene (while a little cheesy) had none of the creepiness of Lois shooting Clark with a gun, even if it was a blank.

Now to take a point away again. While it's true that Superman's powers had been rather flexible in the '50s and '60s, they had more or less stabilized by the '70s. In any case, the first Superman movie clearly established what he could and couldn't do. But for some reason, Richard Lester decided that more powers would be more exciting, forgetting that less is usually more in these kind of things. So although we see General Zod levitate a gun and a person, I must insist that Kryptonians do NOT have the Force! Or at least they shouldn't.

But I'll give that point back for Terrence Stamp's performance as General Zod. He's cold, calculating, and pure evil. Truly a classic villain. My favorite Zod lines are "Why do you say such things when you know I will kill you?" and of course, the classic, "Kneel before Zod."

Sadly, that is the last point I'll add. Plot holes, character inconsistencies and poor special effects will doom the rest of this movie. After Superman reveals himself to Lois, he flies her to the Fortress of Solitude, where he very quickly decides he wants to marry Lois and for some stupid reason he has to give up his powers. He never marries Lois, but he does sleep with her (something Superman would never do), then they somehow have a car to drive to Alaska. Where did that car come from? While at a diner, he learns about Zod and decides to walk all the way back to the Fortress, where he somehow regains his powers. We're down to a 4.

Back in 1980, the massive fight scene probably would have seemed pretty cool, but by today's standards it was simply unbearable. It seemed like a slow-motion high-wire trapeze act. It should have been so much better. One particularly stupid part had Superman getting hit by a bus, everybody thinking he was dead, and the three Kryptonians blowing the people away with their super breath. This scene lasted way too long and was filled with way too many stupid Richard Lester gags like people's ice creams cones being blown over and a man continuing to talk on a pay phone despite being blown over. But nothing compares to the sheer stupidity of the fight in the Fortress. Richard Lester became extremely liberal with his Kryptonian powers — creating shadow clones, teleporting, and what in the name of Jor-El was that shield sticker thing?! Good job Superman, you put Non in a minor inconvenience for a couple of seconds. The score is a 3.

In the end, Superman defeats the evil Kryptonians by throwing them down some very random and large crevices in his fortress, presumably killing them. But Superman is not supposed to kill! He could have found another way. Just lock the powerless bad guys in jail — they wouldn't be able to escape! Later, he decides that Lois can't know who he really is. Why not?! It works in the comics! Now, the original plan was to have Superman fly around the earth backward to go back in time to before the Kryptonians arrived, which would have been a pretty good plan, but the producers decided to move that climax to the end of the first movie to make it more exciting, leaving this second movie without a decent ending. So they hastily devised an "amnesia kiss" for Superman. It was pretty darn stupid. The score has fallen to a surprisingly low 2.

Ultimately, this movie fell victim to two main things. The first was money. The producers were upset with Richard Donner for going over budget, so they fired him halfway through. They also didn't want to pay Marlon Brando, so they cut his character. Then they made a deal with the devil to advertise Marlboro cigarettes to try to score some extra cash. The second main problem, which stems from the first one, is hiring a new director who knew absolutely nothing about Superman. Richard Lester didn't know or care to find out how Clark Kent or Superman were supposed to act. He also openly disdained Richard Donner's epic take and religiously influenced vision, and purposely tried to make everything look flat and feel like a comic book. Without these two major problems, this would have been a fairly decent film. A few years ago, they did release the Richard Donner Cut of Superman II, which is better, but still could have used some work. It probably would've gotten a 5. But the official Superman II earns a truly pathetic grade, leaving me with a lot of fear for its notoriously awful sequels.

Final score: 2

See No Evil

"See No Evil" was the 17th produced episode of Batman: The Animated Series, but the 56th aired on Feb. 24, 1993. This is a simple episode, but one that I found rather interesting and enjoyable.

Batman is at his best when he's fighting ordinary criminals. The challenge for the writers then becomes making ordinary fights interesting. Usually they fall for the easy fix of beefing up the bad guys by making them master assassins or super-powered freaks of nature, which is nice every now and then, but becomes tedious after a while. What I liked here, was they took a very normal criminal and gave him just a slight advantage. It was pretty interesting watching Batman figure out how to fight the invisible man — first using smoke pellets, then paint (which the suit burned off), then finally beating him with water. I also liked how they explained the suit was causing him to go mad, which can be attributed to his erratic behavior. So I'll add a point for the interesting fights that didn't have to involve the Joker or Scarecrow.

The score will go to a 7 for one of my favorite lines in the whole show. In one scene, Batman is hanging on to an invisible car that is speeding down the street, prompting a homeless man to say, "I didn't know he could fly, too!" It was funny when I was a kid, and it's still funny now.

All in all, I really don't have a lot to say about this episode. It was a simple story told well, and it had a couple of moments I enjoyed. You can't really ask for more than that.

Final score: 7

The Cat and the Claw

"The Cat and the Claw" is another two-part story for Batman: The Animated Series, with the episodes being the 15th and 16th ones produced. But the first part was actually the first episode aired on Sept. 5, 1992, because the producers felt they needed to start with a connection to Batman Returns. However, they kind of forgot about Part II and started airing other episodes that were meant to be shown earlier like "On Leather Wings" and "Heart of Ice," leaving "The Cat and the Claw: Part II" to be the eighth episode aired, a full week after the first part. A little messed up, but it all worked out in the end.

Part I

I really do like Catwoman in this show. She is a bad guy who does good things, which nearly always makes for an interesting character. I love how she uses a trained cat to assist in her crimes, and I even like her long blond hair, which is a departure from the usual short black we see in the comics. I think blond hair helps deflect suspicion from Selina Kyle being Catwoman. She really is one of the most important characters in the Batman mythology, and the show handled her well in her debut, which earns a point.

I have to take off a point, though, for one of the worst lines I've ever heard Kevin Conroy give. The first time Catwoman scratches Batman, he says, "Hey..." in the stupidest way possible. I don't really know how to describe it. It sounded more like someone took a candy bar off his desk when his back was turned than someone getting injured in a fight with a criminal. It was like he was saying, "Hey... this is a new cape and you tore it. But that's OK, I can get another."

The score will go back up to a 6 with the wonderful conflicting relationship between Bruce, Batman, Selina, and Catwoman. Selina loves Batman, but not Bruce; and Bruce loves Selina, not Catwoman. It really is a captivating dynamic, which makes Catwoman the purrfect girlfriend for Batman. In fact, I like this relationship so much, that I can't stand seeing Bruce with anybody but Selina. Why try to mess with a winning formula?

I'll add another point for some nice scenes of Bruce acting like a billionaire playboy. He put himself up for a charity auction date, and later arranged a last-second meeting with an important person for Selina. Those are exactly the kinds of things I'd expect to see Bruce Wayne do all the time — raise money for charity, go on dates, and call up anyone he wants and says, "This is Bruce Wayne. I want to meet with you in 20 minutes."

So, although this episode was no "On Leather Wings," it did do a good job of showing who Bruce and Batman are, while also giving him a nice romantic interest. It is a perfectly suitable pilot.

Final score: 7


Part II

Right from the start, I can begin to see why the producers felt no rush to get this episode out close to Part I. Although the previous episode did end with the Red Claw announcing her plan to steal the plague the very next day, and her henchmen had targeted Selina Kyle, there really was very little drama pushing us into the next episode. The basic ideas were good, a fight with Red Claw on a train and a need to protect Catwoman, but lots of little details held up the episode. The first was Batman's complete and utter shock that Red Claw was a woman. Come on, Batman, you've already fought Catwoman and Poison Ivy by this point, but for a woman to be an international terrorist is just too much for you to handle? The score is down to a 4.

I have to take off another point for Red Claw's incompetent hit men. If she's supposed to be this legendary worldwide super villain, you think she'd have a better plan for killing Selina Kyle than having her try to get into a car crash in the middle of the day. Seriously, she was on a date with billionaire Bruce Wayne, with tons of people as witnesses around, and they thought that would be the best time to start bumping their car into Bruce's. What an inefficient way to try to kill someone! I'd expect the Penguin's stupidest henchmen to do better.

The score will fall to a 2 for a really stupid way to have Batman learn Catwoman's identity. Alfred takes off Bruce's jacket, notices a hair on it, remarks on its unusual color, Bruce looks at and sees its a cat's hair, then Alfred says he's never seen a cat that color before, and Bruce says that Batman has. Therefore, Selina has the same cat that Catwoman has. The only problem with this is that Catwoman's cat, Isis, is a very normal-looking color to me. Just a dark gray. What's so unusual about that? I normally overlook minor errors like this, but I can't when they're key plot points like discovering your girlfriend is a criminal.

I add a point back for the climax of the episode. In a lot of superhero and action shows, the bad guy usually leaves the good guy tied up to suffer an unnecessarily slow death, while they leave and assume everything will go according to plan. But here, it actually makes sense. Red Claw wanted to get rid of the plague but couldn't be around when it opened, so she used some acid to eat through its container while she got away. I liked that. There also was a nice chain of explosions at the end, which was pretty exciting. Yes, it was cheesy how a mountain lion captured Red Claw, but I did like how Batman finally captured Catwoman at the end. All in all, not a bad ending for a rather bad episode.

Final score: 3

Superman

I've been waiting to review this movie for a long time. Finally, at long last, I get to take a look at the one that started it all: Superman. Coming out in 1978, this was the first serious major motion picture about a superhero; therefore, it was only fitting that it features the first and original superhero. Superman was directed by Richard Donner and stars Marlon Brando, Gene Hackman and Christopher Reeve. How does this classic hold up after more than 30 years? Let's find out.

The opening credits is kind of long, but powerful with John Williams' iconic music. Nothing says Superman more than this wonderful soundtrack, which earns a point by itself.

The score rises to a 7 for Marlon Brando as Jor-El. He really adds a sense of dignity and mysticism to the movie. At first, I was a little bothered that he was so old, but then it made me think about Abraham and Isaac. I once wrote a 10-page paper about Superman being a type of Christ, and most of my sources came from this movie. Not only was baby Kal-El sent to Earth in a small rocket, kind of like Moses, but his dad intended for him to be an example and savior for mankind. Now with my new little idea that Jor-El had to wait a long time for his only son to be born, kind of like Abraham, furthers this religious motif. Superhero stories can be pretty deep if you want them to.

I have to take a point off for some confusing and kind of lame plot points. After Jonathan Kent dies, Clark takes the green crystal (probably not Kryptonite?) from his spaceship and somehow knows he's supposed to take it to the North Pole. Once there, he throws the crystal into the ice and it turns into the Fortress of Solitude (OK, I can handle that), and then he trains with Jor-El (also good). But then Jor-El says they've been training for 12 years. 12 years?! Why would it possibly take THAT long to learn to be Superman? Later, we see Lex Luthor and company reading Lois Lane's article, and they quote several lines that Superman did not say in the interview scene. Did she interview him a second time off screen? Possibly. But then Luthor tells his cohorts that Kryptonite can kill Superman. Did the article say that? If so, how did Luthor find this out? But if it was in the article, then why did Superman tell that to Lois Lane? "By the way, Lois, the only thing that can kill me is Kryptonite. That's K-R-Y..."

But I will add a point for Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent. He is goofy, bumbling, yet lovable. Most importantly, he is very un-Superman-like. It's not just a matter of putting on glasses — his whole demeanor changes. He slouches, walks differently, talks in a different voice, and can change back and forth so fast, that it almost seems like he really is two separate people. I also really liked how he was able to secretly save Lois as Clark. Christopher Reeve really set the standard with this role.

However, the score will fall back to a 6 for Margot Kidder as Lois Lane. She's not very pretty and has a really annoying voice, which is only made worse by her incessant screaming. You'd think a courageous, top-notch reporter wouldn't freak out so much. Also, how can a reporter have that bad spelling. I know she's supposed to be bad at spelling, but this movie had her misspelling tons of rather basic words. I did like how she was quickly infatuated with Superman, but I really have no idea what he sees in her.

One of the best scenes in the movie is the first time we see Clark Kent transform into Superman. The music and the tension builds, and then he rips open his shirt to show the S-shield underneath. Gets me every time. To me, it's a wonderful representation that while all of us are rather ordinary on the outside, we each have the potential inside us to be something super.

The worst scene of the movie is quite possibly the "Can You Read My Mind" sequence. The idea of having Superman and Lois fly over the city romantically is a good one, and the music was really nice, but having Lois speak the words of the song was weird, and having her fly for an extended period of time side-by-side with Superman while supported only by her hand was just ridiculous. Yes, she did fall after he tried to hold just her fingers, but she should not have been able to stay up as long as she did. She would have had to be an expert acrobat to pull that off.

I will bring the score back to a 7 for Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor. Yes, he was pretty goofy, but in a lovable way, I feel. There's nothing wrong with a little humor, right? ... Nevermind. But the most important things about Lex Luthor — being smart and evil — they nailed pretty well. My favorite Lex line is when Superman says, "Is that how a warped mind like yours gets its kicks? By planning the death of innocent people?" To which Luthor replies, "No, by causing the death of innocent people." Classic Lex.

A lot of people like to point out how stupidly impossible it is to reverse the rotation of Earth to go back in time. I agree completely. However, I will not take a point off for that because I really enjoyed Superman's emotional scream that set the whole thing off after Lois Lane died. Therefore, it kind of balances itself out. I'll also address an issue brought up by How It Should Have Ended. It's not that Superman couldn't catch both the missiles, it's that he didn't know he could. He still was relatively new at being Superman (despite spending 12 years training in a strange inter dimensional plane with his dad), and he wasn't fully aware of his capabilities. That's my excuse, anyway.

In the end, I also have to add a bonus point for the historical significance of this movie. Before Superman, the only superhero to grace the silver screen in a modern major motion picture was the hilarious Batman starring Adam West. Nobody had ever attempted a serious superhero movie of this magnitude before, and, by 1978's standards, I'd say this was a success. It inspired three more Superman movies, and I do believe that without this first movie, there'd be no Batman, X-Men, or Spider-Man movies, either. Every historical comic book discussion begins with Superman, and every historical superhero movie discussion also has to start here. True, the once-amazing special effects of 1978 no longer lead me to "believe a man can fly," but I think the film as a whole did a good job of capturing the essence of Superman and what it means to be a superhero. And in my opinion, that is the most important thing.

Final score: 8 out of 10

Thor and Captain America

When I initially reviewed Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger, I didn't consider the scores official because I wasn't able to take notes in the theater. Now that these movies have been out a for a while, I've been able to go back and give them a fresh look. Just as I expected, the scores for the movies remained the same. Thor is still a 9 and Captain America maintains a perfect score of 10. Here's just a brief recap of why they got those scores.

Thor

I still am entranced by the beautiful Asgard, and find myself wanting more. It's such an interesting and captivating world that I really hope they return to in either a second Thor movie or the Avengers.

I also loved the joyfully violent Thor, especially in the fight with the frost giants. Watching a guy swing a giant hammer around really is pretty fun.

I had to add a point for the great humor in the movie. From repeatedly running over Thor, to watching him smash coffee mugs, to Stan Lee's cameo, this was a really funny movie. But not so funny that it detracted from the action, which made it all the more enjoyable.

By the time this movie came out, Marvel knew it was making an Avengers movie, so it was able to be a bit more open with its references to it. We got to see lots of SHIELD, a brief glimpse of Hawkeye, hear about Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. Everything is building up to this ultimate movie. Hopefully I and everyone else won't get our expectations up too high.

What really made Thor for me, though, was Loki. He was wonderfully deceitful. You could not trust a single word he said, which was quite entertaining. It will be very fun to see him fight the Avengers.

Just like the first two times I saw this movie, I was still annoyed by Volstagg. It wasn't so much that he wasn't fat enough, it's that we never saw him actually eat anything. We saw Thor eat more food than Volstagg did. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't obviously fake eating in one scene. In any case, it annoyed me enough to still take a point off.

I wanted to add a point for the final fight with the Destroyer, but it was a kind of short fight, and the whole "evacuation" stuff was kind of lame.

So altogether, Thor is a really fun movie, leaving me wanting more. Much, much more.


Captain America

Just as Loki was perfect for Thor, the Red Skull was the ideal villain for Captain America. Right from the start, we get a great sense of his personality, when he's told the cube is not for the eyes of ordinary men, to which Red Skull says, "Exactly." If we don't see the Red Skull again, I will be very upset.

I absolutely loved the references to Golden Age Marvel. Seeing the Synthetic Man, who'd become the original Human Torch, at Howard Stark's expo really makes me crave a movie during this time period. I'd love to see a movie with Namor the Submariner fight the Human Torch. It could be epic.

Perhaps the best thing about this movie is that it is a fun adventure with good, believable action. I was worried about Captain America throwing his shield around, but they pulled it off. In fact, I had so much fun during this movie, I really wanted to go back and live during World War II.

I also loved the Howling Commandos and Bucky. It made perfect sense to make Bucky older, and they left his death ambiguous enough to allow him to come back in Captain America 2 as the Winter Soldier. I would also like to see the Howling Commandos in the Namor movie I mentioned earlier. It would be so cool!

Just as the Red Skull had one line that defined his personality, so did Captain America with the line: "I'm nothing special, I'm just a kid from Brooklyn." They nailed his personality perfectly, and I liked how we got quite a bit of the pre-Cap Steve Rogers.

This really was one of my favorite movies. If they can capture the same spirit in the next ones, then they will be incredible as well. I also really think they need to make a movie that takes place in the '40s. We deserve it.

So, all the movies leading up the Avengers have been very good and have scored well on this blog. Iron Man (10), The Incredible Hulk (9), Iron Man 2 (9), Thor (9), and Captain America: The First Avenger (10) have an average score of 9.4. I'll admit I am worried that the Avengers will bite off more than it can chew like Spider-Man 3 did. But even if it does, we've had a lot of fun with the buildup.