Before Watchmen: A villainous diversion

DC’s Before Watchmen was announced in February 2012. In August, they announced an addition to the project, a two-issue miniseries focused on the villain Moloch. Apparently this whole gamble was paying off quite well and the company quickly sought a way to expand it. I was quite eager to read Moloch’s backstory — as opposed to the rest of the main cast, he’s actually a character we know very little about. I think there’s much more potential in a Moloch story than Silk Spectre or Nite Owl. Unfortunately, DC decided to only devote two issues to this tale. And even more unfortunate was their choice to had this story to J. Michael Straczynski. He has surprised me from time to time, but more often than not, he just lets me down.

But what’s not letting me down is this amazing cover by Eduardo Risso. It is ominous and haunting, giving me my first glimpse of what a threatening figure Moloch could have been. It’s definitely one of my five favorite covers from Before Watchmen and definitely ranks fairly high on my list of favorite comic book covers in general. I just wish Risso’s interior art matched this level of detail and intensity. I wouldn’t call it bad art, per se, but maybe rushed?

This variant cover by Matt Wagner and Brennan Wagner is nothing special. In fact, I find it rather cheesy. I prefer mystery over on-the-nose symbolism. However, symbolism does have its place, when done well. Like with the third variant cover.

I am absolutely floored by this Jim Lee and Alex Sinclair cover. I hated all of Lee’s variants for the main Before Watchmen series. He had all the characters blandly posing in a police lineup, muscled up and glamorized to extreme levels that flew in the face of what I believe Alan Moore had intended. But this! This is something unique and captivating! It’s not just a generic pose — it ties in beautifully with the inside story. And I actually do enjoy the Pietà pose here. While Moloch technically doesn’t die in this story, his innocence does. I’m really glad that Lee pushed himself to do some storytelling with this cover.

But how good was Straczynski’s storytelling? Well … a bit of a letdown. This issue details the childhood of Edgar Jacobi, who was born with a deformed face and ears. Because of his grotesque appearance, his parents never truly loved him, only providing him with the bare minimum of support. Craving attention, Edgar trained to be a stage magician. His acts caught the eye of a pretty girl who promised to have sex with him. But then Edgar discovered she already had a boyfriend and was playing a cruel joke on Edgar. So he killed the boyfriend and somehow smuggled his dead body into the girl’s bed without waking her up. This Godfather-esque experience apparently traumatized the girl and forced her to be institutionalized, while Edgar ran away from home and became a traveling magician under the name of Moloch the Mystic.

Edgar told everyone he took the name from the ancient Ammonite god who was known for his supernatural powers. But he really chose the name because Moloch was known for child sacrifice, and he considered his first kill to be a sacrifice for his new life. He turned out to be a fairly poor magician, which forced him into a life of crime. But his meager magician skills made him a very successful criminal, one that attracted the attention of the Minutemen. However, he was always able to escape prison no matter how many times they locked him up.

Moloch’s outlook on life changed when he first encountered Dr. Manhattan. He realized this was a foe he would never be able to defeat. While serving a life sentence in prison, Moloch converted to Christianity and began praying for forgiveness. To his surprise, he was granted parole, only to find Ozymandias waiting for him outside the prison.

I feel like there was a lot of wasted potential with this story. Straczynski gave us a rather by-the-numbers tragic origin tale without taking any time to show us why Moloch was the most prominent “super villain” in the Watchmen universe. But mostly I wanted more interactions with the Comedian. I think it was a big deal that Eddie Blake chose to visit Moloch instead of anyone else after he learned Ozymandias’ plan. Now, I haven’t read the second issue of this series yet, so maybe I’ll get my wish. I don’t have high hopes, though, because one, I know this writer, and two, this miniseries just isn’t long enough to do what I want it to do.

Redrafting the Jazz: 1980

I have been cursed by a witch to repeatedly travel back through time to relive every NBA draft. Fortunately, her spell sends me directly to the Utah Jazz war room on draft night and all the executives magically know I’m from the future and will do whatever I say. Unfortunately, the curse prevents me from seeing how my advice altered the future, as I am sent back to the previous year as soon as draft night ends.

June 10, 1980 – Sheraton Centre Hotel & Towers, New York City

Previous season:

The 1979-80 season was this franchise’s first full season in Salt Lake City as the Utah Jazz. And boy, was it a doozy! General manager Frank Layden desperately tried to spice things up in the hectic 1979 offseason by trading a couple of veteran big men for young, high-scoring forwards. The first trade ended up being one of the best in Jazz history, as Utah sent the aging Spencer Haywood to the Lakers for Adrian Dantley. This immediately paid off for the Jazz, as Dantley made the first of six eventual All-Star appearances in an Utah uniform. Layden’s second big trade was to send Rich Kelley to New Jersey for Bernard King. This, unfortunately, turned out to be a disaster. King was arrested for sexual assault and cocaine possession. His alcoholism required a lengthy stay in rehab, which limited him to just 19 games with the Jazz. Utah was able to eventually trade him away to Golden State for big man Wayne Cooper, but he only gave the Jazz one mediocre season. King eventually did get his life together enough to put together a stretch of incredible basketball … but it wasn’t with the Jazz.

Layden had envisioned forming a Big Three with Dantley, King, and All-Star veteran Pete Maravich. Each of them would end up leading the NBA in scoring at different points in their careers, and it would have been fascinating to see if Layden’s all-offensive experiment could have worked. But in addition to King’s absence, Maravich’s injuries limited him to just 17 games. Unlike King, Maravich was on his last legs, and Utah couldn’t find anyone to trade for him. So they waived him in January 1980 and he quickly signed with the Boston Celtics before retiring at the end of the season. So with Dantley as the lone bright spot, the Jazz struggled to a 24-58 record.

The draft:

Back in these days, the NBA held a coin toss between the teams with the worst record in each conference for the No. 1 pick. Utah lost the coin toss to Detroit, but they owed the pick to Boston, who quickly traded it to Golden State for the third pick and Robert Parrish. The Warriors used the top pick on big man Joe Barry Carroll, while Utah used the second pick on a shooting guard from Louisville named Darrell Griffith.

The Jazz also owned the 19th pick thanks to a 1979 trade that sent Truck Robinson to Phoenix. With this pick, Utah selected point guard John Duren from Georgetown.

I don’t care about any of Utah’s other picks in this insanely long 10-round draft. Although I will point out that their fifth-round selection was a guy named Wally West, which I’m sure DC Comics fans will get a kick out of. Unfortunately, this Wally West didn’t play any games in the NBA.

Analysis:

The Darrell Griffith pick was a no-brainer for Utah. He was the best player on the NCAA national championship team and he filled an immediate need at shooting guard. (Let’s face it, the aging Ron Boone was nothing compared to Pistol Pete — even on his last legs.) Griffith was named Rookie of the Year and participated in two dunk contests. He also led the NBA in 3-pointers in two seasons before he broke his foot in 1985. He missed an entire season and was never the same after that, limping along for five more years, becoming exponentially less effective in each subsequent season. Nevertheless, he remained a fan favorite and deservedly had his jersey retired by the Jazz. But was he really the best pick for Utah?

The third pick in this draft was Kevin McHale. After resolving a contract dispute with the Celtics, he went on to have a legendary career in Boston, winning three championships and making seven All-Stars. He’s a member of the NBA’s 75th Anniversary Team and was the only player of this draft to reach the Hall of Fame. Even though Griffith was Rookie of the Year, he never made a single All-Star. McHale had the better career of the two — by far — but I still hesitate slightly to make this switch. Griffith filled a gaping hole in Utah’s backcourt. And McHale’s low-post scoring could have gotten in the way of Dantley’s low-post scoring. However, the Jazz were also pretty thin up front after dealing away Haywood and Kelley, and McHale’s rebounding and shot-blocking would have been much appreciated. At the end of the day, I think I want McHale more than Griffith (and Dantley, for that matter).

John Duren played sparingly in two seasons with the Jazz before being waived in 1982. Unfortunately, there aren’t any good guards left at No. 19. So I’ll recommend another big man, Jeff Ruland, who was a two-time All-Star with Washington. Even though he undoubtedly would have gotten in McHale’s way, I’m a firm believer of drafting the best player available. Ruland could be traded down the road for a good guard.

My advice:

1. Use the No. 2 pick on Kevin McHale.

2. Use the No. 19 pick on Jeff Ruland.

3. Don’t worry about the other picks.

Once again, I’m a little nervous that I’ve ruined my Jazz. But maybe not. Maybe I merely hastened the departure of Adrian Dantley, which would have saved Frank Layden and Larry Miller a lot of headaches down the road. And who’s to say that Darrell Griffith wouldn’t have thrived on those amazing Celtics teams? But I’ll never know, thanks to this witch’s curse. And I don’t know what lies in store for me moving forward, as I’ve now reached the beginning of the Utah Jazz. We’ll just have to wait and see!

Before Watchmen: Our first miniseries comes to an abrupt end

Since I’ve been reviewing these issues in the order they came out (and I took a long hiatus to pursue my master’s degree), it’s taken me quite a while to finally finish one of the many miniseries under the Before Watchmen umbrella. Amanda Conner and Paul Mounts provided us with the final Silk Spectre cover, and once again I’m not terribly impressed. It’s just a bit too vague and abstract for me. And those villains don’t mean much to me — they’ve really failed to make much of an impact over the past three issues.

The variant cover is by Bruce Timm, who was the creative force behind so many of the DC animated shows of my childhood. It’s kind of fun to see his style applied to the Watchmen universe, but it’s also a bit disconcerting. As a work of art by itself, I think it’s just … adequate.

Our story begins with Laurie sadly reading the farewell letter that the Comedian forced Greg to write. Of course, she has no way of suspecting Eddie Blake’s involvement in this affair, and instead reminisces to the multiple times her mom stood between her and boys. Meanwhile, Hollis Mason has gone into full cop mode by methodically tracking down Laurie in broad daylight. His efforts attract the attention of the Chairman, who actually gets so spooked, he decides to shut down his entire operation by having his two female assassins murder every single person involved in the scheme — even though his drugs were successfully brainwashing people to buy inordinate amounts of things they don’t need. I also think the amount of murders he’s committed would have only attracted more attention from the authorities, but the unnamed Chairman didn’t seem to care about that.

Hollis tracked down Laurie’s roommates just in time to be attacked by the Chairman’s women, but Hollis conveniently defeated them off page. When Laurie returns home, Hollis shows her that he tied up the two women, and she decides to take the fight directly to the Chairman. She gets into a brutal fight with him, finally gaining the upper hand by viciously driving the heel of her boot into his throat. As he staggers around out into the street, trying to remove the boot from his neck, Laurie picks up his gun and prepares to finish him off. It’s not entirely clear whether she actually pulls the trigger. And in the end, it doesn’t really matter, because the Chairman is hit by a bus right at that moment and reduced to a pile of blood and bones.

Laurie lets Hollis drive her home, where she more or less patches things up with her mom. The issue ends with Sally dropping Laurie off at the infamous Crimebusters meeting, where Laurie meets Dr. Manhattan for the first time and begins dreaming of dating him just to make her mom mad.

DC only gave Darwyn Cooke four issues to tell this story, but he really needed six. We needed more time to establish the threat of the bad guys — I had a hard time figuring out who was actually in charge, and it turned out to be a guy who didn’t even have a name! It felt really out of the blue for him to suddenly go around killing everyone who worked for him. The absence of Greg and the Comedian were really felt in this issue, and everything with Laurie’s arc felt rushed. But then again, I’m not sure if I needed more time exploring Laurie’s backstory. The main Watchmen series already gave us plenty about her. And even a great like Darwyn Cooke couldn’t add anything interesting or meaningful to her story.

Redrafting the Jazz: 1981

I have been cursed by a witch to repeatedly travel back through time to relive every NBA draft. Fortunately, her spell sends me directly to the Utah Jazz war room on draft night and all the executives magically know I’m from the future and will do whatever I say. Unfortunately, the curse prevents me from seeing how my advice altered the future, as I am sent back to the previous year as soon as draft night ends.

June 9, 1981 – Grand Hyatt Hotel, New York City

Previous season:

Only two players on the 1980-81 Utah Jazz roster had more than four years of experience (one of them was the immortal Ron Boone, who was quite ineffective in his 12th and final season). Head coach Tom Nissalke led this young, raw team to a mediocre 28-54 record. But there were a couple of bright spots. Darrell Griffith was named Rookie of the Year and Adrian Dantley led the NBA in points (30.1 per game) and minutes (42.7 per game), earning a spot in the All-Star Game, on the All-NBA Second Team, and finished 12th in MVP voting. The Jazz had another league-leader in a less flattering category — big man Ben Poquette committed an NBA-high 342 personal fouls.

The draft:

Utah’s record earned them the fifth pick in the 1981 NBA Draft. Unfortunately, in 1978, the New Orleans Jazz traded away this pick to Seattle for Slick Watts. The point guard led the league in assists and steals in 1976, but he was completely washed up just two years later. After just 39 games, the Jazz sent Watts to Houston for their 1981 first-round pick, which ended up being No. 13.

In desperate need of a big man, the Jazz used the 13th pick on Syracuse’s Danny Schayes, son of Hall of Famer Dolph Schayes.

In the second round, Utah used the 27th pick on a small forward from Tennessee named Howard Wood.

This draft lasted an accursed 10 rounds, but none of Utah’s other picks mattered. Only one of them actually played in any NBA games — eighth-rounder Bobby Cattage, who surprisingly made the Jazz roster and appeared in 49 games for Utah and 29 for New Jersey.

Analysis:

Schayes had a quiet rookie season, but became a starter as a sophomore, averaging a fairly respectable 12 points and nine rebounds per game. Surprisingly, he was dealt to Denver at the 1983 trade deadline for former Jazz veteran Rich Kelley and $300,000 in cash. General Manager Frank Layden talked up Kelley’s experience, revealing that Utah had nearly acquired him earlier as part of a proposed three-team deal that would have sent away Dantley. Layden backed out of that deal because he felt the other teams weren’t offering enough for Utah’s All-Star, but he was reportedly thrilled to find another way to acquire Kelley. However, Kelley didn’t contribute much during his second stint with the Jazz and he left for Sacramento in 1985. The best part of all this, though, was that it opened up room for Mark Eaton to develop into a Defensive Player of the Year and an All-Star.

And then there’s the money. Many people look on this trade with the view as the Dominique Wilkins trade. It’s true that in this era the Jazz were struggling financially. They played a handful of “home” games in Las Vegas to try to boost revenue and rumors constantly swirled about them relocating to Minneapolis or Miami. An extra $300,000 certainly helped keep the franchise a bit more stable, but I think winning more games would have helped more at the end of the day. So with that in mind, I recommend finding an upgrade to Schayes. Even though he enjoyed an 18-year career in the NBA, he was almost always a backup.

In my opinion, Larry Nance would have been a much better pick at this position. The All-Star, All-Defensive Team power forward could have made a powerful front court alongside Dantley and Eaton (assuming the Jazz still drafted him).

Utah’s second-round pick, Howard Wood, only lasted 42 games before being waived. Obviously we need to upgrade here. My choice is BYU’s Danny Ainge. I wonder if one reason he fell so far in the draft was because he was playing Major League Baseball for the Toronto Blue Jays at the time. But the Boston Celtics didn’t mind buying out his MLB contract, and Ainge became a major contributor on two of their championship teams and an All-Star. Even though Utah already had a budding back court with Griffith and Rickey Green, I think Ainge would have made a stellar backup for both of them. Later in his career, Ainge was runner-up to Sixth Man of the Year.

And then there’s Ainge’s stellar work as a general manager. True, he has been guiding the Jazz front office for the past few years, but maybe he would have started doing that a lot sooner had he been drafted by Utah instead of Boston.

My advice:

1. Use the 13th pick on Larry Nance.

2. Use the 27th pick on Danny Ainge.

3. Don’t worry about any of the other picks.

The Danny Schayes pick turned into some much-needed cash and a veteran backup for Mark Eaton. I realize I’m putting those things at risk by recommending Nance over Schayes, but I guess I value on-the-court production more than these alleged intangibles. Did I just doom the Jazz to be relocated to Minneapolis? Well, I’ll never know. Because as soon as that 10th round ends, the witch’s curse whisks me away back to 1980.

Before Watchmen: The boredom of bleakness

Darwyn Cooke’s work has definitely been a bright spot in this sprawling Before Watchmen series, and I’m always pleased to return to it. With this issue, he devoted the cover to Mothman, with a beautiful color palette but some oddly cartoony stars. Sadly, this issue doesn’t focus on Mothman nearly as much as I’d like, which kinds of makes this cover misleading.

The variant cover by Steve Rude and Glenn Whitmore is a fun, classic collage of the Minutemen. I really enjoy it … except for Captain Metropolis’ hands. Is he covering his ears? Just relaxingly placing his hands behind his head? It doesn’t read right.

Speaking of reading, this issue was not a particularly fun read for me. The tone was so bleak the whole time, it actually made me bored. And doing a recap will be a bit tricky considering how many flashbacks and jumping around through time this story does. I guess I’ll start at the beginning, which was in 1962, when Hollis Mason visiting the former Mothman, Byron Lewis. As usual, Hollis is preoccupied with making sure his former teammates are OK with the bestseller he has already published. But Byron is essentially a vegetable now, unable to do anything more than sit and watch the sun set.

We return to 1946, where the Comedian has returned triumphantly from his duty with the U.S. Army in

World War II. Hollis and Byron have set up a new secret lab for themselves in the sewer, which is where they learn of Silhouette’s brutal murder. The two of them had been secretly working with Silhouette after she had been voted out of the Minutemen for being a lesbian. And at the time of Ursula Zandt’s death, she had begun investigating a mysterious string of children being murdered.

Hollis and Byron buried Ursula next to her girlfriend, Gretchen, in unmarked graves, but Sally Jupiter secretly followed them to see where Ursula was buried. She apologizes to her former rival, feeling guilty for having voted to kick Silhouette out of the Minutemen. In fact, Sally felt so guilty, that she personally tracked down Ursula’s murderer and viciously killed him. She then told off Hooded Justice and Captain Metropolis for how they treated Silhouette and announced her retirement as Silk Spectre.

After Sally’s graveside confessional, she’s suddenly approached by Eddie Blake, who tells her a long depressing story about a corrupt general who killed a kindly woman after she saved Eddie’s life. Eddie retaliated by killing the general in his sleep, although he now thanks that man for “opening his mind.” Anyway, Eddie’s main point was that he understands Sally’s guilt and frustration — despite having avenged someone with a murder. And so these two are able to bond over that feeling.

Anyway, Hollis and Byron decide to continue Silhouette’s investigation — although Byron’s alcoholism begins to become a serious impediment. Hollis discovers a tape detailing the horrors Ursula and Gretchen endured under the Nazi regime. And the issue closes with Hooded Justice having a nightmare of his traumatic childhood. If that wasn’t bleak and depressing enough, there’s always the two pages of The Curse of the Crimson Corsair to haunt your dreams!

Maybe I just wasn’t in the right mood for this issue. But I found the amount of tragedy and despair overwhelming. As such, this was the first issue of the Minutemen miniseries that let me down. Hopefully I’ll find more enjoyment when I return to the Silk Spectre.