Batman

Today I got to review the first serious Batman movie ever made, Tim Burton's 1989 classic, simply titled Batman. Most of the movie posters and video cases were even simpler, only using the Batman logo. The main actors for this were Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, and Kim Basinger.

The first point I'll add will be for the opening sequence. Danny Elfman's Batman theme is as iconic and recognizable as John Williams' Superman theme, and the music throughout this movie is really good — even the Prince songs aren't too bad. Gotham City is very dark and dirty and overall quite interesting to look at, which really helps with the overall mood and tone for the film.

There was a nice little fake out with a well-dressed couple and their boy, but we quickly find out they're not the Waynes, but just some tourists. It was a bold move to not show the origin of Batman here, but I kind of like it. Everybody knows how Batman became Batman and we really don't need a whole lot of time retelling that story — we just want to get right to Batman beating up bad guys, which is exactly what happened here.

Although I think his cape was a little too small, I really liked the concept here. He's sneaking around in the shadows, playing up the mysterious and superstitious element of his role. When he was holding the guy over the edge of the building who screamed, "What are you?!" and he answered, "I'm Batman," we knew without a doubt that this is not Adam West's Batman.

I will have to drop a point for the handling of Bruce Wayne's character. I don't mind that Bruce is really awkward when he's trying to be Bruce — I think that's rather interesting — but I don't understand why nobody in the city seems to know who he is. Vicki Vale receives invitations to a big party at his house, but she doesn't even know what he looks like or what he does for a living. Isn't he the head of Waynetech Enterprises, the largest and most powerful company in the city? Apparently not because even Knox the reporter and the Joker and his goons knew who he was. It even took Knox some serious investigating to find out that Wayne's parents were killed when he was a little boy. Shouldn't that be common knowledge, especially for a reporter?

Well, don't worry, the score will quickly go back up to a 6 thanks to Batman's second fight scene, where he had two classic Batman moves. The first was a no-look punch to a guy sneaking up behind him. The second was quickly disappearing when Jack Napier bent down to pick up his gun. Those two moves were cool in 1989 and they are still cool today.

I now have to add another point for one of the best comic book movie scenes of all time — the unmasking of the Joker. It is so chilling and awesome with him demanding the mirror, violently smashing it, and breaking out into creepy laughter. Jack Nicholson at his finest.

The movie goes up to an 8 for having Bruce place two roses on the spot of his parents' murder. I've always liked the imagery of this — it's one of my favorite aspects of the Batman character. He never forgets — he can never forget — and he'd keep putting roses on that sidewalk even when he's 90 years old. It is an obsession, but a tender obsession.

I will add one more point for the Joker's main plot here. I thought it was rather sophisticated to have a combination of products trigger his Joker toxin. I also think it's a really scary and awesome thing to see people laugh themselves to death and die with huge, grotesque grins on their faces. There also was a nice element of the Joker spreading chaos and fear throughout the city very quickly, slightly similar to the effect he has in The Dark Knight.

Unfortunately, this score of 9 is the highest it will ever get. The last half of the movie has a rather disjointed feel. From what I understand, this is because there was a writer's strike at the time and the producers had to hastily scramble together some kind of ending. The end result was not very good.

The beginning of the lacklusterness is marked with a very confusing scene. Alfred is so desperate to get Bruce married, that he convinces him to reveal his secret identity to Vicki. So Bruce goes over there and is just about to tell her, when they're interrupted by the Joker. For some reason, Bruce decides to pick a fight with the Joker (after protecting himself with a large metal tray). The Joker shoots Bruce, then leaves. Vicki goes to check on him, but sees that he vanished. Then she opens the box the Joker left her, which contains a plastic hand holding dead flowers.

What is going on here? Am I missing something? So the Joker went to deliver some dead flowers to Vicki and happened to bump into Bruce? What was Bruce's motivation in this entire scene? Even worse, in this scene the Joker utters the same phrase that Bruce heard the night his parents were killed. The score is an 8 and it drops to a 7 because ...

The Joker is NOT supposed to kill Batman's parents! Actually, I probably wouldn't mind it so much if it was handled better. It's not until after Bruce hears the Joker say his "devil dance in the pale moonlight" line when he stares at the Jokers disfigured face and recognizes him as his parents' killer. Wouldn't he have recognized Jack Napier when he fighting him earlier? Shouldn't that face have been burned into the mind of Bruce Wayne, the greatest detective in the world? And the trouble doesn't end there.

Right after this revelation, Alfred commits the greatest sin a butler can make by bringing Vickie Vale into the Batcave. OK Alfred, we know you really want Bruce to get married, but this is not the time! The Joker just announced he'd be hosting a huge parade in Gotham that night — Batman is too busy to talk to girls, especially annoying girls like Vicki Vale.

Luckily, the score does rise back to a 7 thanks to, "He stole my balloons!! Why didn't anyone tell me he had one of those ... things? Bob, gun." BOOM! I don't know why I love this line so much, it's just fun, which the Joker really was all throughout the movie. I liked his cheesy commercials he used to announce the death of hundreds of people. I also liked his gag props, especially the acid-shooting flower. Unfortunately, he never got to squirt it in someone's face.

Sadly, though, the score quickly falls back to a 6 because of Batman's terrible targeting computer. He has tons of guns and rockets and not one of them could hit the Joker. Maybe he should have turned off his targeting computer like a certain young farmer from Tatooine. But then again, Batman really shouldn't be trying to kill the Joker — Batman doesn't kill, although he does kill a least a couple of henchmen in this movie. Anyway, I did like the Joker's really big gun, but it's not enough to redeem the Batplane's terrible targeting system.

And the hurting doesn't stop. I have to take off one last point for the confusing and discombobulating ending. For no reason at all, the Joker decides to walk Vicki to the top of a cathedral. During the fight, Batman knocks a couple of henchmen down far enough that they had to have been paralyzed at least, if not killed. When Vicki sees Batman, she decides to distract the Joker by kissing his coat and telling him she loves the color purple. I'll say that again. She kissed his coat and told him she loves purple. Then Batman and Joker fight, each blaming each other for who they turned out to be and then Batman somehow wraps his grappling hook around the Joker's ankle and a gargoyle. The weight of the gargoyle sends Joker to his death and Batman does nothing to stop it.

The movie ends with Harvey Dent (played by Billy Dee Williams, who unfortunately did nothing in this movie and did not appear in the next one) reading a letter from Batman, which says if the forces of evil strike back, then all you have to do is call me. Kind of cheesy. But the movie does end with the iconic image of Batman standing in front of the Batsignal with great music and chimes in the background.

It is fun to go back to these older movies and see if they stand the test of time. In some ways, this movie really doesn't. I think we may be spoiled with the newer movies, but this one really seems stale and flat, especially Batman's fighting style. He's so stiff and rigid, he mostly just kicks people. He also allows himself to be shot multiple times, probably because he can barely move in his suit. But despite that, this was an incredible movie until the tortured ending where one frustrating scene followed another.

Historically speaking, this movie absolutely deserves a bonus point. The Batman comics did become more realistic and serious in the '80s, but mass audiences needed a major movie like this to convince them that Batman really wasn't a goofy Adam West. Not only did this movie revive the franchise and launch three direct sequels, but it directly inspired Batman: The Animated Series, the most perfect cartoon series ever, which also launched many more DC cartoons. So, despite its flaws, Batman deserves a lot of credit.

Final score: 6 out of 10